Being Gay Today

being gay in this day and age i can honesty say is a blessing because not even 10 years ago when i was 19 and it just seem like a really taboo thing to do an gay marriage don't even think about it . but here at the end most of 2012 we have many states including my own Maryland where in November we will vote to uphold the Gay Marriage bill. an the way its going it will pass *fingers crossed* but the fact that we have gay theme days at places like six flags for one just say how the world is changing for us, of course there will always be people out there that will never change hell its people out there who still believe black people need to be slaves and woman shouldn't have the right to vote.

  

   Thank God those people are few and far between but when we have shows out there like Rupauls Drag Race who show that its ok to be who you want to be and not what the world want you to be.for many years i was bisexual but i kept it to myself and just used porn and gay shows like Queer as Folk as a outlet because as i said 10 years ago the world wasn't as open about gays as it is now. even when i was married and my wife knew i liked guys i never acted on it till after we for divorced and not because (i like guys she cheated) but one say just couldn't hold it in any longer and i had sex with my then best and only gay male friend and it was one of the best feelings of my life and at that point i knew this was something i had been missing .

   The funny thing is things about me finally started to come out that i was hiding i got a "switch " in my walk, my voice was always light and soft ( so that was already in place) not saying this happen to all gay guys but for me it did and after awhile i found myself ONLY attracted to males going to gay clubs getting my nails done and dressing gay/feminine and i wasn't doing it because i was gay i was doing it because it felt like this was the real me and i was no longer hiding "true self" from the world. i am always happen when famous people come out the closet (newest Anderson Cooper) because to me it shows they are normal people too and that they fight with the same things we all do. so in closing i just want to say i love that i am gay in this day in age because i can be who i truly am and it feels hella good!

To Be Or Not To Be A Size Queen

        

Well this is a subject i been wanting to cover for a lil while now me and the boyfriend was talking about it the other day so it reminded me. as a very talented and very well titled power bottom i know my way around a dick. but one point that i hear a lot really in the "bottom" world is the size of a tops dick i know so many guys who will not fuck a guy unless he is 10' or more but then i know some who will not fuck a guy if he is over 8' or 9' if ur in the latter 10 inches is required for you to ride the ride you are what as know as a "size queen" this also spills into the hetero world but for the point of this blog we talking homo.

            

             When i hear guys talk about size its a big deal to me now let me be honest from the start i used to say if a guy was huge i was only giving them head and i was out the door. but i have grown to like dicks of all shades and sizes ( GROWN to like see what i did there lol ) because i was in a position in a 3 some with a couple and the top had a VERY large dick and i didn't know that till the first time we went to have sex and i didn't just want to back out so i went for it and enjoyed it, don't get me wrong i think its because he knows how to work it because there are a lot of guys with big dicks who just want to RAM BAM an try and slam dance the bottom an which me that shit wont fly!

               

                 Also i used to be a top when i first "entered" the gay world and i knew nothing about top,bottoms, or size queens i just had fun.. but as time went on i know i don't have the biggest dick in the world im normal size (i know someone will judge me on that statement alone) which at first was fine for me but as after a while i started to fear running into a size queen an what i have wouldn't be good enough for them that and being a bottom felt good to me. but which that came "is my ass big enough" which at first i personally didn't think so i guess that was the "woman" inside of me but after a while a found out guys love my ass so i found more and more ways to show case it an now i know my boyfriend gets upset with me when he "goes for my dick" i flinch or move because even though he loves me for me and my size, i have this wall built up where i feel like my ass is more important because i am a bottom i know that sounds silly but thats personally how i feel i know i will get over it and i honestly feel that i am slowly turning into a versatile guy because i am with someone who loves me for me and we can just do what feels right to one another it will take time but this is what i feel!

                          

           Now on the flip side there are guys out there with small to normal size dicks that can fuck the hell out some ass and thats great thats why for me size doesn't matter as long as you know how to work it, my boyfriend has a normal to big dick like in the middle and i love it, it fits me perfect no matter what position we are in all i feel is pleasure an when he goes to town on my bogina i love every min of it. my point is size should not matter but with everything in the world everyone has what they like and thats all well and good but for this guy i will not be wearing the crown of a size queen!

Homophobic Homos!!

i always like to start out by thinking my followers and all of you who take the time out of you busy lives to just read my Lil piece of the Internet. something has come across me that i would never see and that's homophobia but not from straight people but i mean right here in the gay community itself. an no its not closeted homos either its people that are out to there family's but for some people when it comes to hanging out in pubic or if they are in a relationship its not wanting to meet there lovers other gay friends. for the life of me i cant understand people that are like that, you do some much to come out to the world express who you are but shelter yourself away from your own kind. the only reason i can find for this is a form of self judgement within themselves and also peer pressure so to speak because a lot of gay people still stick to hetero ways or stereotypes for gays. as in you see two guys together who one is manly and one fem  in the straight world the fem is "the girl" and in the homo world he must be the bottom which can be wrong on SO many reasons 

But a lot of versatile or even bottoms feel like they don't want a fem guy to top them which makes no sense to me what so ever. i know it seems I'm getting a little off topic but no really all this runs hand and hand because some guys feel its shameful to have a fem guy top them an hints the not wanting to hang out with his friends and keep them to his self because he will feel like his friends will judge him and feel less then a man. did i miss the memo but what makes you a "man" is you having a penis it stops there period no matter how much anal sex you have as a bottom, dicks you suck and make up and or drag outfits you put on you still have a penis THAT is what makes you a man.

A4A VS BGC

This is my 3rd blog and for all those of you that have been reading and keeping up with me thank you so much and remember spread the word. Now today I want to talk about something that me and my best friends talk about all the time because one we are on these sites all the time with what some people may call "meat shopping" and it’s the gay chat sites ( and I use the term chat VERY loosely) http://www.adam4adam.com and http://bgclive.com/ these two sites are the main form of contact between gay men looking to talk,"chill", networking , and just random hook ups. Because believe it or not it’s really hard even in this day in age to go somewhere beside local gay hot spots (clubs and hang outs) and find gay guys because in the "real world" even someone that maybe totally flamboyant try and hide their sexuality in pubic and or work places so it seems that cyberspace is our best way for finding someone gay so in comes A4A and BGC. Let’s Start With Adam4Adam.

They have a very good user interface which allows you to make a free profile very quick and easy you get a profile title, you may share your age, weight, penis size and HIV status etc. Now one main problem with A4A the page itself is not setup for someone who is in the closet/DL because the page is filled with ads for gay sex, gay sex toys, Hot Live Guy Waiting for you and just all out naked guys doing all kind of stuff in the background. Now the personal search is set up very well me as a bottom I can search for people in my part of town, if I want one on one, friendship, cam4cam, and 3 sums. I can also search for tops, versatile guys, just oral whatever tickles my fancy... I can even search by race now here where highlight of A4A is comes in for some reason the guys on here are well most are really easy to talk to. You can leave a message and 90% you get something back be they into you or not which is a good thing. Now I’m not going to say guys on there are not without problems, because some guys treat this site like its ONLY A SEX hook up site and so you MUST get on to have sex or you are wasting their time. They also seem to treat people like items on a menu and not REAL people, an last but not least as in for whatever reason guys be they top bottom what have you they chose to post totally naked pictures of themselves but at the start of their profiles they point out " they just looking for friends" or a famous line " I’m not looking to hookup" which to this day I just totally don't understand that's like sending in your resume' to a job but with no intentions of taken the job!     

Now to BGC or Black Gay Chat as it used to be called there setup its for a account and search  pretty much the same but one big thing is the background and sides are not swimming with gay ads they may have a ad for a gay event now and again but it seems to be more setup for closet and non-closet guys which is a good thing. They also let you customize your personal page with polls, music, backgrounds a lot like MySpace. But the biggest problem with BGC is not the site itself it’s the boogieness it's like people get on there to express how much everybody else not worth their time and everyone else is below them like really dude get a life. Instead of telling people what you're not there for, tell them what you are there for so that way at least people have a idea of what you like, also a big problem on both sites have is guys that mislead and contradict themselves by using title versatile but if there profile say "no one fucking me" you’re not versatile then I’m going to bring this to close now, I just want to point out that yes YOU maybe on their only looking for sex or networking please treat people with respect there are REAL people behind those profile and pictures treat them how you would want them to treat you!

Drunk Driving Its A Big Deal!

Well I have been thinking about this entry for a couple days now and I finally got to write about it. I just had to deal with is someone who wants to drink and drive! Why the hell is this still a problem this day and age, and I don't mean having a glass of wine or a beer at the bar after work I mean getting totally smashed somewhere and you make a conscious decision to drive home. An I just had to deal with someone on a personal level that chose to do this mind you he already had a DUI and was on probation for this same crime and yes it is a crime some people seem to forget this fact. The thing that upsets me the most is where the person say I’m ok to drive yes your mind maybe telling you that but you are not the only person on the road and someone may step out in the road or just crossing the street and maybe totally in the right but because you have been driving you judgment is impaired and you don't react the same way you do when you are sober. 

   You may kill yourself or someone else, I am one person that when I drink I get totally smashed can’t remember shit do stuff I don't remember. It’s all fun and games but I am lucky to have a best friend who doesn't drink at all so when I know I want to drink he is right at my side so that way I know I can go nuts and I will have someone drive me back safe and I know everyone doesn't have one of these magical friends who doesn't drink but I feel if you are going out with friends everyone should take turns being the non-drinker of the night or if ya'll can’t do that then everyone bring money for a cab and spit the fare or something 100s of 1,000s of people are killed every year from drunk drivers.So I say you want to go out and get totally shit faced go right ahead but bring a friend to get you home or if you dont have a friend bring extra money for a cab, and if you dont have that go to your local liquor store get all you want take it home and let loose ! 

How I Became A Bottom !

i been asked this question a lot and i guess i will take my first entry of my blog to address this. but let me take you back a while in my life i used to have sex with females and when i stared to come more to grips with the fact that i liked guys too i came out into the gay world with a lot of gay stereotypes that because i was "manly" at the time i was a what i know know is called the "Top" the one who gives and for a short VERY short time i was a top i thought i would never be the bottom as in , "it would hurt" me would mess up my ass in some way! but i meet someone who was a expert on the subject who told me if you truly want it will not hurt you and of course at first i didn't believe a word of it . but one day out the blue i was laying down watching a movie and he just came alone and slowly pulled down my pants and to make a long story shirt i felt one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. ANAL SEX i just laid there and just took it all in ( no pun intended ) and from that day forward all the stereotypes and rumors was gone out of my head. 

An as the years went on i became more and more Erwie why i see and the person trying to get out for some many years not saying Erwyn was not me he was but it was someone down deep inside that needed to come out. overtime my light feminine ways started to come out  i needed to keep my nails done i got a lil switch in my walk and that all become a part of me not saying feminine guys only can be bottoms or tops but i feel everyone should just be and do what feels good to them and being a bottom feels good to me i can be myself and i love it! so people even in the gay community feel that if you all manly you have to be a Top or if you a girly you have to be a bottom and that's what keeps people from evolving in the world because they try to keep everyone in these "boxes" and "roles" and if its not the case you get a funny looks or looked down on? i will never know but thats for another time but this is why how i and why i became a bottom and not because i have to be because i WANT TO BE!